Various events happening around nigeria in conversation
SARS’ restructuring, Imo and other Stories
Afeez Odunoye
“Social media outcries have instigated the reorganization of a strategic unit of the Nigeria Police Force.’’
“Which unit is that? Is it the Anti-Bomb Squad?’’
“You’ve not been following trends lately…E be like your inquisitive mind don exit our shores.”
“Leave story, give me gist jor.”
“Ok. Inspector-General of Police, Ibrahim Idris has ordered the reorganization of the Special-Anti Robbery Squad (SARS) in response to campaigns on the unit’s malfeasances and unprofessional conduct.”
“Do you think that will cause a significant reduction in the ills of the unit?”
“Yes, it will. The bad hens in the unit should be stopped from laying bad eggs.”
“Then, they should commence with the probe of the SARS personnel that shot a young man in the Yaba area of Lagos last week. The move should be holistic, from top to the bottom of the unit’s hierarchy.”
“Exactly, that’s what the Nigeria Police Force is trying to do with the reorganisation. The unit will now be headed by a Commissioner of Police who will oversee the operations of the unit.”
“That’s not enough. In fact, I’m not convinced”.
“Calm down….Your blood too dey hot. A special squad, IGP X-Squad will be going round the country’s commands and police formations to enforce compliance and nab errant officers.’’
“Did they include police officers parading themselves as SARS operatives?”
“Yes. A new training programme would be organized by the Force in collaboration with civil society organisations, local and international groups and human rights organisations on police duties and human rights for all FSARS personnel nationwide.”
“Whao…I need to review my résumé. My civil society group must be integrated in this drive.”
“Mr. Facilitator, in the interim you should get involved in the restructuring drive by reporting complaint of violation of rights by SARS personnel to the IGP X-SQUAD: 09026900729-Calls, 09032278905- SMS, 09035621377-WhatsApp, Email:integrityxsquad@gmail.com.”
“Issokay, then I’ll be observing from the high places as a citizen.”
“Abeg, no go fall ooo….I cannot coman start wasting the precious fuel in my car to convey you to the clinic in this season of scarcity.”
“Scarcity ke?’’
“Siddon there…Fuel scarcity dey rock Lagos and Abuja.’’
“Perhaps, the situation forced the NNPC Managing Director, Dr. Maikanti Baru to rush back home from London. Are we ever going to learn?”
“You’re a learner. This is what we experience every yuletide season…O ti di baraku!”
“My friend, get serious and stop talking in your mother tongue.’’
“Oh, you want me to get serious. The Nigeria Football Federation and the Federal Ministry of Youth and Sports are leaving no stones unturned in readiness for the 2018 FIFA World Cup.”
“I just hope we get our preparations right this time.”
“I hope so too. The Federal Government has set aside #3 billion for the Super Eagles to participate in the mundial.”
“Make them no owe players this time around. Dem go play friendlies so?”
“Yoowa, the Super Eagles will play Grade A friendlies. We’ll play Poland on March 23, 2018. We go even face England days before the tournament kicks off in Russia on June 14, 2018.”
“Then, we are in pole position to excel at the mundial.”
“Just like the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP)?”
“Stop that. Don’t compare our darling Super Eagles with the PDP.”
“Why? But, I hear say dem hold their elective convention this weekend for Abuja.”
“Yes, they did. However, the process was dead on arrival. The convention was characterized by irregularities. One of the contenders for the Chairmanship position of the party, Prof. Tunde Adeniran rejected the outcome of the election hours before Prince Uche Secondus was announced as the party’s new chair.”
“Na wa oo…So, the defection of Waziri Adamawa, Atiku Abubakar couldn’t even stem the tides in the party. I even hear say him dey position well for 2019.”
“That must be the reason behind the exclusive interview he granted Ovation publisher, Dele Momodu penultimate Friday. Uncle DM go function well as his Senior Special Assistant, Media if Atiku is elected as Nigeria’s President.”
“Na you sabi….old man like you dey do aproko. Well, Atiku is a pro in this game. He has been involved in partisan politics for 28 years.”
“28 kwa, that number is strategic for Governor Rochas Okorocha of Imo. He swore in 28 new commissioners this week.”
“Why now? He’s got less than 2 years to the end of his tenure. I even hear say his younger sister make appointment as one of the commissioners.”
“You’re damn right. Ogechi Ololo (nee Okorocha) is Imo State Commissioner for Happiness and Couples’ Fulfilment.”
“What’s the meaning of that? So, governance is now family business. Wetin concern government with marriages and couples’ affairs? Is Nigeria in dearth of marriage counsellors? This is not a task for government to take upon itself.”
“I just taya. My thoughts are with the good people of Imo at this time. Maybe they are happy with the Rochas approach to governance.”
“Who knows? Anyways, extend your thoughts to the people of Adamawa too. It’s dark over there.”
“Another bomb blast?”
“No, this time militant herdsmen wreaked havoc on Dong killing about 45 persons. Scores of people lost their lives to herdsmen-farmers’ clashes in Numan too.”
“This is agonizing. The FG should intensify its efforts at curbing the excesses of herdsmen across the country.”
“Vice-President, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo visited Adamawa on Tuesday to sympathise and assess the extent of damages to Numan and Dong respectively. He also held a couple of consultative meetings with community leaders in Numan and Lamido Adamawa, Alh. Barkindo Mustapha.”
“Condemnations and consultations are just not sufficient to address this development. I think we need to take proactive measures.”
“Just like the burglars that broke into the apartment of the aide-de camp of Benue State Governor, Samuel Ortom, carting away foodstuffs and electrical appliances.”
“Those burglars no even dey fear. Based on the looted properties, it is apparent they were hungry.”
“This is the second incident in 7 months. The first occurred in May when burglars ransacked the maintenance department as well as the residence of the chief detail to the governor and carted off #75,000, two mobile phones.”
“If that could happen to the Government House, then citizens residing in Benue are not safe oo.”
“Our education system is not safe too.”
“Why is it unsafe?”
“The Joint Action Committee of unions in Nigerian universities, Senior Staff Association of Nigerian Universities (SSANU), Non-Academic Staff Union of Universities(NASU) and the National Association of Academic Technologists (NAAT) have downed tools to press home their demands. The strike is an indefinite one.”
“Nawa oo….when will they meet their demands? This is the second industrial action by the joint union in 2017 alone. We need to declare a state of emergency in the sector.”
“State of emergency don taya sef….Something more appropriate will do.”
“God, help us. Ali Ahmadu is back on his feet.”
“Are you talking about the Chibok boy who sustained life-threatening injuries some four years ago in an attack on Chibok community by Boko Haram insurgents?”
“Yes. He returned home from the United Arab Emirates on Monday after undergoing a delicate surgery and recovery respectively.”
“Thank God, he survived.”
“He has been awarded scholarship by the Talevaras Foundation up till university.”
“Ahmadu is lucky oo.”
“Lucky is an understatement. The boy is blessed.”
“I concur!”
Thank you
Afeez Odunoye
“Social media outcries have instigated the reorganization of a strategic unit of the Nigeria Police Force.’’
“Which unit is that? Is it the Anti-Bomb Squad?’’
“You’ve not been following trends lately…E be like your inquisitive mind don exit our shores.”
“Leave story, give me gist jor.”
“Ok. Inspector-General of Police, Ibrahim Idris has ordered the reorganization of the Special-Anti Robbery Squad (SARS) in response to campaigns on the unit’s malfeasances and unprofessional conduct.”
“Do you think that will cause a significant reduction in the ills of the unit?”
“Yes, it will. The bad hens in the unit should be stopped from laying bad eggs.”
“Then, they should commence with the probe of the SARS personnel that shot a young man in the Yaba area of Lagos last week. The move should be holistic, from top to the bottom of the unit’s hierarchy.”
“Exactly, that’s what the Nigeria Police Force is trying to do with the reorganisation. The unit will now be headed by a Commissioner of Police who will oversee the operations of the unit.”
“That’s not enough. In fact, I’m not convinced”.
“Calm down….Your blood too dey hot. A special squad, IGP X-Squad will be going round the country’s commands and police formations to enforce compliance and nab errant officers.’’
“Did they include police officers parading themselves as SARS operatives?”
“Yes. A new training programme would be organized by the Force in collaboration with civil society organisations, local and international groups and human rights organisations on police duties and human rights for all FSARS personnel nationwide.”
“Whao…I need to review my résumé. My civil society group must be integrated in this drive.”
“Mr. Facilitator, in the interim you should get involved in the restructuring drive by reporting complaint of violation of rights by SARS personnel to the IGP X-SQUAD: 09026900729-Calls, 09032278905- SMS, 09035621377-WhatsApp, Email:integrityxsquad@gmail.com.”
“Issokay, then I’ll be observing from the high places as a citizen.”
“Abeg, no go fall ooo….I cannot coman start wasting the precious fuel in my car to convey you to the clinic in this season of scarcity.”
“Scarcity ke?’’
“Siddon there…Fuel scarcity dey rock Lagos and Abuja.’’
“Perhaps, the situation forced the NNPC Managing Director, Dr. Maikanti Baru to rush back home from London. Are we ever going to learn?”
“You’re a learner. This is what we experience every yuletide season…O ti di baraku!”
“My friend, get serious and stop talking in your mother tongue.’’
“Oh, you want me to get serious. The Nigeria Football Federation and the Federal Ministry of Youth and Sports are leaving no stones unturned in readiness for the 2018 FIFA World Cup.”
“I just hope we get our preparations right this time.”
“I hope so too. The Federal Government has set aside #3 billion for the Super Eagles to participate in the mundial.”
“Make them no owe players this time around. Dem go play friendlies so?”
“Yoowa, the Super Eagles will play Grade A friendlies. We’ll play Poland on March 23, 2018. We go even face England days before the tournament kicks off in Russia on June 14, 2018.”
“Then, we are in pole position to excel at the mundial.”
“Just like the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP)?”
“Stop that. Don’t compare our darling Super Eagles with the PDP.”
“Why? But, I hear say dem hold their elective convention this weekend for Abuja.”
“Yes, they did. However, the process was dead on arrival. The convention was characterized by irregularities. One of the contenders for the Chairmanship position of the party, Prof. Tunde Adeniran rejected the outcome of the election hours before Prince Uche Secondus was announced as the party’s new chair.”
“Na wa oo…So, the defection of Waziri Adamawa, Atiku Abubakar couldn’t even stem the tides in the party. I even hear say him dey position well for 2019.”
“That must be the reason behind the exclusive interview he granted Ovation publisher, Dele Momodu penultimate Friday. Uncle DM go function well as his Senior Special Assistant, Media if Atiku is elected as Nigeria’s President.”
“Na you sabi….old man like you dey do aproko. Well, Atiku is a pro in this game. He has been involved in partisan politics for 28 years.”
“28 kwa, that number is strategic for Governor Rochas Okorocha of Imo. He swore in 28 new commissioners this week.”
“Why now? He’s got less than 2 years to the end of his tenure. I even hear say his younger sister make appointment as one of the commissioners.”
“You’re damn right. Ogechi Ololo (nee Okorocha) is Imo State Commissioner for Happiness and Couples’ Fulfilment.”
“What’s the meaning of that? So, governance is now family business. Wetin concern government with marriages and couples’ affairs? Is Nigeria in dearth of marriage counsellors? This is not a task for government to take upon itself.”
“I just taya. My thoughts are with the good people of Imo at this time. Maybe they are happy with the Rochas approach to governance.”
“Who knows? Anyways, extend your thoughts to the people of Adamawa too. It’s dark over there.”
“Another bomb blast?”
“No, this time militant herdsmen wreaked havoc on Dong killing about 45 persons. Scores of people lost their lives to herdsmen-farmers’ clashes in Numan too.”
“This is agonizing. The FG should intensify its efforts at curbing the excesses of herdsmen across the country.”
“Vice-President, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo visited Adamawa on Tuesday to sympathise and assess the extent of damages to Numan and Dong respectively. He also held a couple of consultative meetings with community leaders in Numan and Lamido Adamawa, Alh. Barkindo Mustapha.”
“Condemnations and consultations are just not sufficient to address this development. I think we need to take proactive measures.”
“Just like the burglars that broke into the apartment of the aide-de camp of Benue State Governor, Samuel Ortom, carting away foodstuffs and electrical appliances.”
“Those burglars no even dey fear. Based on the looted properties, it is apparent they were hungry.”
“This is the second incident in 7 months. The first occurred in May when burglars ransacked the maintenance department as well as the residence of the chief detail to the governor and carted off #75,000, two mobile phones.”
“If that could happen to the Government House, then citizens residing in Benue are not safe oo.”
“Our education system is not safe too.”
“Why is it unsafe?”
“The Joint Action Committee of unions in Nigerian universities, Senior Staff Association of Nigerian Universities (SSANU), Non-Academic Staff Union of Universities(NASU) and the National Association of Academic Technologists (NAAT) have downed tools to press home their demands. The strike is an indefinite one.”
“Nawa oo….when will they meet their demands? This is the second industrial action by the joint union in 2017 alone. We need to declare a state of emergency in the sector.”
“State of emergency don taya sef….Something more appropriate will do.”
“God, help us. Ali Ahmadu is back on his feet.”
“Are you talking about the Chibok boy who sustained life-threatening injuries some four years ago in an attack on Chibok community by Boko Haram insurgents?”
“Yes. He returned home from the United Arab Emirates on Monday after undergoing a delicate surgery and recovery respectively.”
“Thank God, he survived.”
“He has been awarded scholarship by the Talevaras Foundation up till university.”
“Ahmadu is lucky oo.”
“Lucky is an understatement. The boy is blessed.”
“I concur!”
Thank you
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